I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
Randomize