YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
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