I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
A guy just tried to send me a pic of his penis & my phone sent me a disclaimer saying "the components were unsuitable for your terminal"
Even your phone knows you shouldn't sleep with him...
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
Randomize
