were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
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