dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
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