apparently i ate an entire bag of goldfish, kissed some guy with a girlfriend who now wants to kill me, made my sister sleep in my bed with me while i wore no pants, and told my whole family i am pregnant with jonny's devil baby...never drinking again
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
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