I fell asleep on the toilet again last night...
I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
I am spending my child support on dildos
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
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