Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
That accounts for only three of the penises
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
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