Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
Randomize
