I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Randomize
