How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
Randomize
