i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Randomize
