he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
Randomize
