Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
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