Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
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