also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
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