Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
