Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
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