Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
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