So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Randomize
