a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
Randomize
