I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
I cut my penus on the lid.
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
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