She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
