Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
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