whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
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