no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
My mom is lecturing me about 'invaluable housekeeping skills' while I google 'cocktails involving gin' on my phone. I can feel the generational gap looming in her silent judgment of my choices.
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
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