Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
Randomize
