Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
I'm going to rape someone's good day.
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
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