That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
