Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
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