If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
Randomize
