Things I've learned: after you move in with a girl it's much less satisfying to wipe your dick on her sheets after sex because now they're your sheets too
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
Randomize
