so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
Randomize
