well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
Heybabeimwearingurpanties
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
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