im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
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