i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
my room smells like sperm. sweet.
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
Where are you guys?
Drunk
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
Randomize
