I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
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