Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
Randomize
