Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
Randomize
