She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
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