the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
