Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
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