do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
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