I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
This is getting exciting. I almost wanna turn off all the lights, get some popcorn, and stare at my phone screen to see if she's going to say yes or not
And on a much sadder note, I'm way to drunk for this right now
Randomize
