So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
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