Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
