this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
Randomize