fml, blew my nose and red sprinkles came out and did the splits when i sneezed
Just mADE A PArabola og urine
party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
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