I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Randomize