kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
