I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
Randomize
