Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
Randomize
