me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
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