I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
Randomize
