This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
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