I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
I woke up and there is a food processor in my purse. Someone else's framed family photo. My front door is wide open and my gerbil is playing in the water bong.
Yeah I'm going to bathe him.
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
Randomize
