She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
Randomize
