Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
Randomize