I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
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