Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
Randomize
