So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
Found the puke drawer
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
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