I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
Randomize
