just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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